Good morning my fine gaming friends.  To those that know me, and most of you don’t (you REALLY don’t want to. My personal hygiene SUCKS) – I’m not a huge RPG, or role playing game fan. Sometimes I get sick and tired of shooting animated and quasi intelligent images on my computer monitor, but not often.

So it’s with great fun that I learned I COULD shoot people in Hellgate London!  Or have some sort of machine shoot them. Or sick some sort of weird pig like beast on them. Or chop them up with sharp swords. Or bash them with my shield. Or control them with a weird glowy device on my arm. Or a combination of all of them.

But it wasn’t really people that I was shooting/killing or whatever.  I’m pretty sure the Blizzard Entertainment went to all the most hard up arts students, fed them PCP until they started to hallucinate, and had them draw out their worse nightmares for the game. And THOSE nightmares are what you get to kill!  Kill them by the hundreds and thousands that is!

Pros: Daym you get to kill a lot of things!  A lot of different things.  Like any RPG, you get to upgrade yourself, your gear, and your skills.  The interface is easy to use once you get used to it, intuitive almost.  And it’s an FPS and RPG all rolled into one.  You can do as many or as few of the side quests – the best part is if you are short on stuff, you can go back to a level you’ve already beat and play it again and again and again. This works very well to get the all necessary equipment you might need that you can either use, break down for parts, upgrade, or whatever.  And trust me my fine probably overweight gaming friends (you on the left, you have a Dorito stuck in your third chin. Got it? Atta boy) it’s gonna get harder and harder as you go on.

Cons: Holy smokes can this game EVER get repetitive. Oh yea, another maintenance tunnel just like the last. Yup, another broken down street just like the last. Oh yea, hundreds and hundreds of enemies flocking to kill you.  Great. Now I have to upgrade my computer because it can’t handle the hundreds of monsters in yet ANOTHER train station just like the last one.

My verdict? If you want something a bit different, something that has a flavor of its own, freaky drug induced monsters and semi nude computer chicks, oh, and a bunch of time you want to fill up, get this game.  Especially because it was made in 2007 and it’s damned cheap now.

I’m going to get some Doritos now. Bye.

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