15 Feb, 2010  |  Written by Spaz  |  under Game Talk

Borderlands has been out since October of 2009 and I finally got around to play it.  Three months after a game is released for me to play is, well fast.  Probably because I’m all grown up and I have a job and a household and limited funds and I still haven’t got around to playing those other three games that I bought that are still sitting on the shelf screaming ‘PLAY ME WE’RE DYING’ and I’m screaming back ‘I can’t! I have to pay the bills then vacuum the living room!’.  I hate being an adult. If you can stay a kid forever, do it. DOWIT. It’s so much more fun.

Anyways, Borderlands.  First off, this might be the coolest graphics I’ve ever seen.  When I was a kid I LOVED comic books, and I’ll be damned if this isn’t a computer game comic book brought to life.

Secondly, the plot and people.  So rough around the edges. Such low brow humor.  LOVE. IT.

Thirdly, the game play. It’s an FPS (LOOOOOVE first person shooters) and an RPG rolled into one.  I love collecting weapons, and upgrading skills. But it’s not a full blown RPG.  You aren’t so confused by the skill tree and HUD display that you want to scoop your eyeballs out with a rusty spoon.  It’s simple, effective, easy to learn and fun.

The best part? It’s got a co-op mode.  Your friends can get on a lan or online, pick one of the four off the shelf characters, and have fun running around doing stuff together.

Consensus? I’m very glad I bought Borderlands. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go play it more. Time’s to precious to write more in this silly post.

For you Console Weenies:

Borderlands for Xbox 360

Borderlands for Playstation 3


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23 Jan, 2010  |  Written by Spaz  |  under Game Talk

Hi kiddies, hows my bunch of drooling idiots? Today I’d like to talk about Call of Duty. If you’ve never heard of it you’re not a gamer, or you’ve been in a closet all your life, or maybe you’re just 3 and you’re working on not pooping your pants. I dunno. Whatever the case is, in 2003 Infinity Ward came out with the BEST.FPS.GAME.EVER!

Yea, I’m talking about the first Call of Duty. What of it. Fine, I admit it. I’m OLD. Is that what you wanted to hear? I’m OLD!

But my geriatrics aside, not only did I jizz myself at the thought of a game based on the Quake III engine, but it was a WWII FPS game. And I’m a history buff which just adds to my nerd status.  Regardless, this game combines authentic WWII weapons, a FANTASTIC story line, and you get to kill Nazis.  It’s like the perfect combination of everything and I’m pretty sure I only got up to use the bathroom (until I found having a bucket handy was very handy but just a little gross).

Listen. I don’t care if you value high end graphics. I mean, who doesn’t. Compared to today’s games, Call of Duty looks like a high def version of Pac Man.  If you haven’t played it, PLAY IT.  If you’ve only played later versions of Call of Duty, play THIS one. It’s cheap.  Real cheap. Like less than the cost of a crappy tasteless pizza cheap. And you can run it on just about any computer because the game is 7 years old.

Yes, I’ve followed and played every Call of Duty since I first sat down and played this one.  You know what? I have All the Call of Duties.  Call of Duty Modern Warfare, World at War, Modern Warfare 2 (when the hell is 3 coming out?!?!?!) and by far the first game is still my favorite. And I still play it.

DIE NAZI’S DIE!

Sorry.

Go get this game if you don’t have it or I will slit your throats while you sleep.

Kidding.

Or am I!

Yea. I won’t touch you. Much.


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