29 Mar, 2011  |  Written by Spaz  |  under Demotivational Poster, Funny, Game Talk

While playing combat arms, I’ve seen lots of things. I’ve seen a lot of whining and QQing. I’ve seen a lot of hacking and a lot of hackusations.  I’ve seen friendships created, hate relationships formed, hate speech, racism, you name it.

Humans are humans, no matter what you’re doing. I thought we were all here to play a game, but no, we’re here as HUMANS.

And as humans, I have seen ACTUAL ROMANCES spring up. Really. Romances. People looking to get laid. On nothing more than some type and a generated character with a gun. Well, boys, let me show you the problem with that:

combat arms romances

So, think very hard about exactly what you’re doing in game. You will probably be disappointed.


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21 Mar, 2011  |  Written by Spaz  |  under Funny, Game Talk

Back in the early 00′s, I went to my first lan party.  Rather, I stumbled onto a lan party by accident dropping something off to my friends place.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always enjoyed gaming, but I was a solitary gamer.  I had NO idea you could hook computers up together and blast each other to kingdom come in the same room!  What a novel idea – and it seemed my computer geek friend was also a gaming nerd.  Yet another novel idea.

As I entered the room, I saw an interesting site.  Wires, empty chip bags, half eaten pizza’s, wires, and a plethora of soda pop cans strewn all over.  It looked like a tornado had hit the room.  And the people in it.  Describing the people I’d have to use words like ‘greasy’,'unwashed’, ‘blubbery’, and very, very focused on what they were doing.

Remembering my first experience with the lan party, I’ve compiled a list of the top five things (besides loving the games and having a good machine) that every serious gamer needs.

Adult Bibs: You didn’t get that awesome gamers physique by NOT eating some serious junk food. It seems things like chips, chocolate, and especially for some reason, pizza pops are the gamers food of choice.  These foods tend to be greasy, messy, and not being able to eat them in a baby like manner may impede your K/D ratio. Not only that, but likely you’re wearing your favorite SNES t-shirt from when you were a kid that still ‘fits’.  Don’t want to get that stained, except for the sweat stains round the pit area. That’s just a badge of honor.

Drinking Hat: It seemed the lan guys not only ran on the empty calories gained from pizza pops, but they needed a constant flow of sugar laced caffeinated soda pop to be on top of their game.  Why waste time with the hand to mouth? Just get a drinking hat, load your favorite pop in between gaming rounds, pop the straw in your mouth and bam – it’s like an I.V. for your gaming soul!

Wet Naps: PIZZA’S HERE!  Not a reason to stop gaming. And with a box of wet naps, not a reason to get your keyboard all sticky from your grease laden fingers, either.

Adult Diapers: You got game.  You also got 40 ounces of soda in your bladder. BUT YOU GOT GAME!!!! There’s no reason to loose just to go pee. And let’s face it, you didn’t grow those man boobs by doing active things like walking to the bathroom.  Stay, play, and be comfy.

A Chair: Seriously. You’re gonna be sitting your fat bum in a chair for up to 48 hours or longer, and can you really expect your host to give you a good one? He’ll have that for himself and give you gramma’s 100 year old pint sized wood chair that you’re going to break anyways. Get a good comfy folding chair that you can even sleep in (why would you want to move? Wake game!).

And I’ve also found something that you will NEVER NEED WHILE AT A LAN PARTY!


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26 Feb, 2010  |  Written by Spaz  |  under Game Talk

Does anybody remember the movie Alien Vs. Predator? I do. It involved bad acting, a bad plot, and people having no problem hanging out in Antarctica wearing nothing but a T-Shirt and somehow not freezing to death in minutes.

Anyways, they came out with a game.  It had BETTER not suck like the movie. I bet it does.  I mean, the first predator movie was good because Arnold Schwarzenegger provided macho funnies.  In the second movie, Danny Glover was the hero. Let me repeat that. Danny Glover. HAHAHAHAH! Loved it! And the original Alien movies with Sigourney Weaver was dark and science fictiony, just the way I like them.

In the game, you can play through the story line as a Predator, or an Alien, or as a Marine, and the story lines are different for each one.  So if the game doesn’t suck, that gives you the opportunity to play the game, fresh, three times through.

If anyone actually reads this, can they leave a comment and let me know if the game is worth buying? THANKS!


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