Does anybody remember the movie Alien Vs. Predator? I do. It involved bad acting, a bad plot, and people having no problem hanging out in Antarctica wearing nothing but a T-Shirt and somehow not freezing to death in minutes.
Anyways, they came out with a game. It had BETTER not suck like the movie. I bet it does. I mean, the first predator movie was good because Arnold Schwarzenegger provided macho funnies. In the second movie, Danny Glover was the hero. Let me repeat that. Danny Glover. HAHAHAHAH! Loved it! And the original Alien movies with Sigourney Weaver was dark and science fictiony, just the way I like them.
In the game, you can play through the story line as a Predator, or an Alien, or as a Marine, and the story lines are different for each one. So if the game doesn’t suck, that gives you the opportunity to play the game, fresh, three times through.
If anyone actually reads this, can they leave a comment and let me know if the game is worth buying? THANKS!
Borderlands has been out since October of 2009 and I finally got around to play it. Three months after a game is released for me to play is, well fast. Probably because I’m all grown up and I have a job and a household and limited funds and I still haven’t got around to playing those other three games that I bought that are still sitting on the shelf screaming ‘PLAY ME WE’RE DYING’ and I’m screaming back ‘I can’t! I have to pay the bills then vacuum the living room!’. I hate being an adult. If you can stay a kid forever, do it. DOWIT. It’s so much more fun.
Anyways, Borderlands. First off, this might be the coolest graphics I’ve ever seen. When I was a kid I LOVED comic books, and I’ll be damned if this isn’t a computer game comic book brought to life.
Secondly, the plot and people. So rough around the edges. Such low brow humor. LOVE. IT.
Thirdly, the game play. It’s an FPS (LOOOOOVE first person shooters) and an RPG rolled into one. I love collecting weapons, and upgrading skills. But it’s not a full blown RPG. You aren’t so confused by the skill tree and HUD display that you want to scoop your eyeballs out with a rusty spoon. It’s simple, effective, easy to learn and fun.
The best part? It’s got a co-op mode. Your friends can get on a lan or online, pick one of the four off the shelf characters, and have fun running around doing stuff together.
Consensus? I’m very glad I bought Borderlands. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go play it more. Time’s to precious to write more in this silly post.
For you Console Weenies:
Borderlands for Xbox 360
Borderlands for Playstation 3
Back in the early 00′s, I went to my first lan party. Rather, I stumbled onto a lan party by accident dropping something off to my friends place.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always enjoyed gaming, but I was a solitary gamer. I had NO idea you could hook computers up together and blast each other to kingdom come in the same room! What a novel idea – and it seemed my computer geek friend was also a gaming nerd. Yet another novel idea.
As I entered the room, I saw an interesting site. Wires, empty chip bags, half eaten pizza’s, wires, and a plethora of soda pop cans strewn all over. It looked like a tornado had hit the room. And the people in it. Describing the people I’d have to use words like ‘greasy’,'unwashed’, ‘blubbery’, and very, very focused on what they were doing.
Remembering my first experience with the lan party, I’ve compiled a list of the top five things (besides loving the games and having a good machine) that every serious gamer needs.
Adult Bibs: You didn’t get that awesome gamers physique by NOT eating some serious junk food. It seems things like chips, chocolate, and especially for some reason, pizza pops are the gamers food of choice. These foods tend to be greasy, messy, and not being able to eat them in a baby like manner may impede your K/D ratio. Not only that, but likely you’re wearing your favorite SNES t-shirt from when you were a kid that still ‘fits’. Don’t want to get that stained, except for the sweat stains round the pit area. That’s just a badge of honor.
Drinking Hat: It seemed the lan guys not only ran on the empty calories gained from pizza pops, but they needed a constant flow of sugar laced caffeinated soda pop to be on top of their game. Why waste time with the hand to mouth? Just get a drinking hat, load your favorite pop in between gaming rounds, pop the straw in your mouth and bam – it’s like an I.V. for your gaming soul!
Wet Naps: PIZZA’S HERE! Not a reason to stop gaming. And with a box of wet naps, not a reason to get your keyboard all sticky from your grease laden fingers, either.
Adult Diapers: You got game. You also got 40 ounces of soda in your bladder. BUT YOU GOT GAME!!!! There’s no reason to loose just to go pee. And let’s face it, you didn’t grow those man boobs by doing active things like walking to the bathroom. Stay, play, and be comfy.
A Chair: Seriously. You’re gonna be sitting your fat bum in a chair for up to 48 hours or longer, and can you really expect your host to give you a good one? He’ll have that for himself and give you gramma’s 100 year old pint sized wood chair that you’re going to break anyways. Get a good comfy folding chair that you can even sleep in (why would you want to move? Wake game!).
And I’ve also found something that you will NEVER NEED WHILE AT A LAN PARTY!
Hi kiddies, hows my bunch of drooling idiots? Today I’d like to talk about Call of Duty. If you’ve never heard of it you’re not a gamer, or you’ve been in a closet all your life, or maybe you’re just 3 and you’re working on not pooping your pants. I dunno. Whatever the case is, in 2003 Infinity Ward came out with the BEST.FPS.GAME.EVER!
Yea, I’m talking about the first Call of Duty. What of it. Fine, I admit it. I’m OLD. Is that what you wanted to hear? I’m OLD!
But my geriatrics aside, not only did I jizz myself at the thought of a game based on the Quake III engine, but it was a WWII FPS game. And I’m a history buff which just adds to my nerd status. Regardless, this game combines authentic WWII weapons, a FANTASTIC story line, and you get to kill Nazis. It’s like the perfect combination of everything and I’m pretty sure I only got up to use the bathroom (until I found having a bucket handy was very handy but just a little gross).
Listen. I don’t care if you value high end graphics. I mean, who doesn’t. Compared to today’s games, Call of Duty looks like a high def version of Pac Man. If you haven’t played it, PLAY IT. If you’ve only played later versions of Call of Duty, play THIS one. It’s cheap. Real cheap. Like less than the cost of a crappy tasteless pizza cheap. And you can run it on just about any computer because the game is 7 years old.
Yes, I’ve followed and played every Call of Duty since I first sat down and played this one. You know what? I have All the Call of Duties. Call of Duty Modern Warfare, World at War, Modern Warfare 2 (when the hell is 3 coming out?!?!?!) and by far the first game is still my favorite. And I still play it.
DIE NAZI’S DIE!
Sorry.
Go get this game if you don’t have it or I will slit your throats while you sleep.
Kidding.
Or am I!
Yea. I won’t touch you. Much.
