Hi kiddies, hows my bunch of drooling idiots? Today I’d like to talk about Call of Duty. If you’ve never heard of it you’re not a gamer, or you’ve been in a closet all your life, or maybe you’re just 3 and you’re working on not pooping your pants. I dunno. Whatever the case is, in 2003 Infinity Ward came out with the BEST.FPS.GAME.EVER!

Yea, I’m talking about the first Call of Duty. What of it. Fine, I admit it. I’m OLD. Is that what you wanted to hear? I’m OLD!

But my geriatrics aside, not only did I jizz myself at the thought of a game based on the Quake III engine, but it was a WWII FPS game. And I’m a history buff which just adds to my nerd status.  Regardless, this game combines authentic WWII weapons, a FANTASTIC story line, and you get to kill Nazis.  It’s like the perfect combination of everything and I’m pretty sure I only got up to use the bathroom (until I found having a bucket handy was very handy but just a little gross).

Listen. I don’t care if you value high end graphics. I mean, who doesn’t. Compared to today’s games, Call of Duty looks like a high def version of Pac Man.  If you haven’t played it, PLAY IT.  If you’ve only played later versions of Call of Duty, play THIS one. It’s cheap.  Real cheap. Like less than the cost of a crappy tasteless pizza cheap. And you can run it on just about any computer because the game is 7 years old.

Yes, I’ve followed and played every Call of Duty since I first sat down and played this one.  You know what? I have All the Call of Duties.  Call of Duty Modern Warfare, World at War, Modern Warfare 2 (when the hell is 3 coming out?!?!?!) and by far the first game is still my favorite. And I still play it.

DIE NAZI’S DIE!

Sorry.

Go get this game if you don’t have it or I will slit your throats while you sleep.

Kidding.

Or am I!

Yea. I won’t touch you. Much.

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